When the phone rang at 12:00 in the night, from a number outside the country, I never knew the same would have been a moment much awaited by my Chilhood friend. Abin would have even searched the bowels of his memory or I believe would have hired professionals to hunt me down and get My number !!!!!. But he did it, and decided to spend 50 Indian Rupees on me, Quite high to his spending Standards. Being the bully of the gang I always had a gut feel that I would get back whatever I am giving !!!!.
The moment, I woke up from the " Manager Haunted Sleep " courtesy Asim Mehra my X manager, I could hear someone laugh, laugh his guts out. My hello's and attempts in different Languages made no Sense, the Laugh was emphatic, It signified a victory. The laugh ended and I hoped to hear this Alien Introduce me, all he said was your " First Love is getting Fucked Now". Then my job started to think who is he reffering to, affairs was common, heart breaks BAU !!!!.
Abin then settled dwn told me that the heroine of the most accalimed Love affair of my school days has officially being married. The girl is enjoying with her partner now, thanks to my taunts and bullying at school days, the news came from Dubai.
Love affairs at school are fun, when you turn around and think, Getting kissed and explaining the process to your freinds, who get calmmered under the stair case listening to the spiced up stuff , gives you the elevated status of having felt a woman!!!!!. Our gang had initiated the process for Abin with the heroine through me, Being a born Marketeer, My gang believed in me getting the project rolled out.Sadly, Instead of Abin, the chick chose me, there started the Affair which continued for the next Six years. The hidden meeting at the construction sites of the school, special classes that never happened, tears rolled out during vaccations, Money stolen from fathers pocket to call her up, The girl at the phone booth who acted as her friend an affair is a Drama in Itself.
I laughed at Abin for his ethusiasm for calling me up and taunting me, he was the most tortured soul during my school days and the torturer " Mr Deepak ". The call ended and I again went to sleep, but a pain remained, will remain, does not matter how much ever you laugh, you talk about practicalities of life, Love does not leave hapiness when lost, getting into it must be a very thoughtfull act. At school, you love and get loved for the no reasons, you do not bet your options and choices, future and needs are not evaluated, you love for the sheer joy of falling in love. People grow and so does the evil, the system teaches them to compare, evaluate and do the weeding, I was weeded out, but my love, Hey thats a joke !!!!!!!!
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When you say: The call ended and I again went to sleep, but a pain remained, will remain, does not matter how much ever you laugh, you talk about practicalities of life, Love does not leave hapiness when lost, getting into it must be a very thoughtfull act. At school, you love and get loved for the no reasons, you do not bet your options and choices, future and needs are not evaluated, you love for the sheer joy of falling in love.
It is amazing how truthful one can be and still say that was a joke. Then again, does it really matter when the story is as old and true as the heavens and the earth? What caught my attention was the duality we enact. There is pain and you yell about your strengths; you laugh outwardly and are crying within; you profess practicality and covertly worship impulsiveness. It gives me a feeling that within us (our personality) there is this couple (husband and wife) who are fighting for their marriage. Two ends talking to each other and waiting to be one; the sounds awaiting their right proportion to be the undefined music – something one listens to and is lost. An event that gets inside and leaves me untouched; I believe such a change exists and if it does, then the day isn’t far when I, a paper of “nothing” would be swayed by the breezy life. You go where it takes you; no ends, no distinctions, no contradictions, no reactions. Not because you don’t wish to but because you don’t know what it is. “Till then” is a tough one and I hate to answer it.
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